Wet
by Baka-Sensei
Summary: When it rains, it pours... and sometimes it just plain sucks... Three part CRACKFIC! KakaIru. YAY!
1. Part I: Iruka

AN: This is gonna be a fairly short, three part crackfic. Written for the lj RP community ironkonoha. KakaIru. Hoorah!

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Iruka was generally a very easy-going person. Sure, he was a little dull, very polite, followed a standard, set routine, and he liked to believe that he almost NEVER felt the need to throttle impressionable young minds into oblivion on a daily basis (sometimes he lied to himself, but don't we all?). He figured if he could deal with screaming, excited children for hours on end, most of whom had been frighteningly equipped with pointy projectiles, he could handle just about anything. Today, he decided magnanimously, was just not his day. 

It had started out like many days in Konoha did during the month of March- with your average Fire Country style rainstorm, fully loaded with freezing rain scattered with hail the size of kumquats and friendly Mach 5 winds. And just because any _sane_ ninja looked out the window in the morning, muttered "Screw it," and pulled the covers back over their head didn't mean that Iruka had to fall prey to such baser desires. He woke up and went for his morning run promptly at 5 a.m. as he did every morning.

Coming back frozen and soaked to the bone, he'd tried to take an invigorating hot shower. The invigorating part still held true, he supposed, but the fact that the pipes spewed out water even more freezing than what he'd been running in definitely put a damper on that whole "hot" idea. Feeling the head-cold beginning to set in, he'd immediately made some tea for himself afterwards, only to be scalded when his unfeeling-numbed hands fumbled while pouring. He refused to let it get to him, though, and performed a simple healing jutsu after sticking his burnt fingers under the kitchen faucet.

A few minutes later, he'd left for work at the Academy. He tried to keep a positive outlook, even when a particularly eager gust of wind had blown his freshly graded papers into a 2-foot-deep mud-puddle. At least Konohamaru had been quite happy to learn that he'd have a chance to re-take yesterday's quiz which he'd passed by the skin of his teeth. Several of the other students greeted the news with similar relief and all-around joy, and Iruka guessed that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to have happy students. He couldn't help but wonder, though, if it was entirely healthy for the vein in his forehead to be throbbing to the point where he was getting very nervous looks from all the students and a few of the faculty.

That whole fiasco at lunch where a few students, kept inside because of the rain, had managed to up-end Iruka's soup and beverage into his lap had been a fluke, surely. And when he'd gone to the bathroom to clean up and found that the Academy's pipes were apparently reacting badly to the flooding of the storm and puking out muddy-sludge; Well, that was something any civilized person would be _unsettled_ by, but otherwise, he'd managed to take it gracefully. The 'Sensei-death-glare'TM he'd visited on his students for the rest of the day had been good for building up their defenses for intimidation techniques often used during questioning. All in all, no harm done.

So when Iruka got home that evening and found that his living room had been flooded to top it all off, he simply took a moment to whimper and slide down the wall to land with a slightly damp thud on the floor. If Iruka had learned anything from dealing with troublemakers of Uzumaki Naruto's caliber, he'd learned that patience and a good night's sleep could cure almost anything. He decided to get a head start and promptly turned in at 4 p.m.

He was awoken by a moist tap-tap-tapping in the middle of his forehead around 3 in the morning. His weary brown eyes opened and stared up through the darkness. There was a leak. In his ceiling.

The scream of rage that ripped out of his throat woke up half the hidden village. A few inquisitive neighbors peered in the windows to find the Chuunin had fixed himself to the ceiling with chakra and was apparently trying to pound it into submission.

Even Iruka had his limit.

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Hehehee... Review my friends! It should be done soon... 


	2. Part II: Kakashi

There were few things that Kakashi had serious problems with, most of them having to do with other ninjas throwing sharp objects or nasty jutsus at him. During his life, he'd learned that you had to be accepting of what happened, because even if you _didn't_ accept it, it could still mess up your life anyway, and you were usually left with some sort of icky denial complex. So when Kakashi was awoken that morning to the sound of very big chunks of scary looking hail leaving hairline fractures in his window, he muttered, "Screw it," and pulled the covers back over his head. Wet and Kakashi did _not _get along.

Okay, so _occasionally _wet and Kakashi got along, during warm sunny days when he could, for instance, bribe an unsuspecting and adorable Chuunin school teacher into going for a swim, reveling in the fact that Iruka was almost always naively unaware that Kakashi only suggested it so that he could blatantly check out said school teacher's swimsuit-clad ass. And even though Kakashi wasn't an ego-maniac (far from it) he had to admit that when he allowed himself to become wet enough that the drops ran down his slender neck just so, he looked decidedly delicious. So wet and Kakashi weren't _always_ mortal enemies.

But rainstorms like this one obviously sucked, not to mention the fact that the wind whipped through the cracks in the window and made his bedroom sadly not-toasty. He muttered to himself, lazily pulling off a few hand seals, and with a puff of chakra smoke, his bed was now being warmed by a few very-furry and friendly nin-dogs. He sighed contentedly. Much better. He cuddled in for a few more hours of sleep.

The excited barking of the dogs woke him an inadequate hour later. He glared at them sleepily, his rumpled silver head peaking out from under the covers. He looked around to see what had set them off. Oh. A hailstone the size of a melon lay on the carpet amidst shards of glass, and the wind whipped through his window with renewed vengeance. Damn. Apparently, he wasn't going to get his allotted 15 hours of sleep today.

After dismissing the dogs, dressing, throwing the piece of hail out the broken window onto an unsuspecting passerby, and patching his window, Kakashi decided that a warm breakfast was in order, even though it was technically- quick glance at the clock- after noon. Eating in silence, he decided that today would be an ideal day to tortu-…_train_ his three students about the importance of functioning on missions even during weather conditions such as today's. Of course, this meant that they'd spend a couple hours sparring in the low-laying training fields, which were surely turned into a swamp by now, as their sensei took shelter in a tree, occasionally chucking kunais in their direction. They needed to learn to be ready for anything, after all.

Of course, when he finally showed up at the bridge, they were already soaked, shivering and irritable. Even the ever-stoic Uchiha seemed ready to dismember him when he finally showed up, giving him a glare that would fill any average upper-level ninja with a sense of impending doom. Kakashi's visible eye simply curved up into a crescent.

A few hours later, Kakashi trudged back into his apartment admitting to himself that maybe it _hadn't _been the best idea to try to take shelter in that particular tree. It had seemed the perfect vantage point to throw his… learning aids… from, and it had been going quite well for the first hour or so, even though the wind had gotten seriously worse, and even Kakashi wasn't safe and dry at this point, the water seeping underneath his vest.

Hell, he was lucky he'd felt the change in air pressure at all, what with the way he'd been so focused on the look on Sakura's face as she'd plummeted into the mud after a vicious kick from the ticked-off Uchiha. He'd been quite happily contemplating the interesting shade her hair had taken on while soaking wet and covered in grime when the storm decided that his tree was the best tree to use to conduct a strong electrical current into the ground with. He'd escaped the lightning-bolt with only the tip of his hair singed slightly, but still, did it have to be _his _tree out of the thousands gathered around Konoha? No, he thought, the storm was being purposefully belligerent.

He threw his soaking vest onto a chair and decided that maybe it was best if he turned in early. He'd considered going to see Iruka-sensei later on, but the murderous look on the Chuunin's face as Kakashi had spied him marching home after class had been… unpleasant to say the least. He was slightly comforted by the fact that he wasn't the only one having a shitty day.

As he began to walk towards his bed, an ominous whistling noise made him halt in his tracks. His gray eye widened and he burst into his room to find that his patching job this morning had not been the best, as it had been ripped away from the re-broken window. His room was a mess of hail and wind-whipped furniture and belongings. With a mournful sob, he found his beloved Icha Icha soaked and ripped beyond recognition. One thought was running through his mind. _Dear God, WHY!_

That was it, he decided after having a proper burial for his lost porn in the backyard, this called for going to the bar and getting drunk off his ninja ass. He promptly walked to the nearest bar and ordered their strongest sake. He toasted lost comrades- especially ones of the paperback variety, spending the next few hours getting as inebriated as he possibly could as fast as he possibly could.

Late that night (morning? Ah, who the hell cared anymore…he mumbled to himself), he started a weary journey back to his apartment. An intoxicated Sharingan no Kakashi was not something that most people wanted to come in contact with, and as he stumbled along the almost deserted streets, most people gave him a much wider berth than was strictly necessary. At least the rain had let up some, he mused.

He was immediately snapped out of his warm and slightly fuzzy drunken stupor by a loud screech a couple of blocks away. He instantly gathered what faculties he had left at his disposal and rushed off in direction of the sound (okay, not _rushed _per se, but he was going as fast as he could in such a state. It wasn't his fault the damn street lights, buildings and trees kept jumping in his way). He knew that voice.

He reached Iruka's apartment and peered blearily into the window. It seemed that his 'Ruru was trying to kill his ceiling. Okay, that was good. Seeing as plaster didn't pose much of a threat, even on it's bad days, Iruka wasn't in any_ real_ danger.

He promptly passed out into the Chuunin's bushes.

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MUAHA! The last part should be out soon. Gimme a R, Gimme a E, Gimme a V, I, E, W!  



	3. Part III: Togetherness

Dawn. The sun came up reluctantly, peaking weakly through the clouds, illuminating muddy puddles, wind-blown bent trees, the occasional hole in roofs that, for once, hadn't been caused by an over-enthusiastic Genin bounding just a _little_ too harshly across the shingles. A gray sheen seemed to hang over everything. It was the type of day that even the sun decided was shit, and promptly hid itself behind some cumulus to wait it out. It made sure the cumulus was extra thick and sound-proof when it realized that Umino Iruka had just found a lazy, porn-loving Jounin lodged in his bushes.

Iruka grumbled, and with a kick, rerouted the gutters over his house to dump onto said porn-loving Jounin. Needless to say, when Kakashi realized that he was being drowned in his sleep, he woke up with a start to find a glowering Chunin standing over him. He did the first thing that seemed appropriate for the situation.

"Yo," he said, untangling his right hand from the cloying branches and raising it in greeting.

"Kakashi," Iruka growled out, and Kakashi wondered if the vein in his forehead would burst soon, "What the _fuck_ are you doing in my hydrangea?"

It was at this point that Kakashi became aware of two things. A) Iruka looked _reeaaallyy_ sexy in nothing but pajama pants with his hair all disheveled from sleeping (He could ignore the bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them because that was just the swell type of guy Kakashi was), and B) Iruka had used an expletive when he wasn't in a life-threatening situation or having sex with Kakashi, which meant that he was in a bad enough mood that if Kakashi wanted the problem of his morning wood rectified, he'd have to do some fast thinking.

"Hmmm…" Kakashi answered, trying to untangle himself a little more, "I was sleeping off an illicit amount of alcohol." And happily, he had not much of a hangover to show for it. He freed himself and stood up, then added as an afterthought, "They're comfortable bushes."

Iruka had a frighteningly accurate ability of bullshit detecting, and when he was pissed off, this ability went into overdrive; meaning not only was he more accurate, but usually dismembered, maimed and/or otherwise destroyed any person(s) who were detected bullshitting. Kakashi figured it was best to tell the truth. He was right. Iruka sighed and deflated a little. But not much. The vein was still pulsing.

"I see," he said, though they both knew that while he really didn't understand at all, he really didn't want to at this point. "Come inside. I was just making breakfast."

Kakashi decided that this was definitely a turn in the right direction, and mentally told little Kakashi to hold out just a while longer. He followed Iruka around the house and in the front door, because even though it would have been easier to just hop in the bedroom window, he didn't want to ruin his chances when he'd gotten this far. The first thing he noticed upon entering was the fact that the living room was a bit… wet.

"I wasn't aware that you were converting your living room into a swimming pool," he remarked conversationally. He watched as Iruka's back tensed up. Damn. One step forward and two steps back.

"I'm not," was the restrained reply. He could hear his lover's teeth grinding. Cute.

Iruka busied himself with serving up two plates of food and pouring the tea. Kakashi busied himself with trying his damnedest to not jump the unsuspecting school teacher. Happily, (or unhappily, depending on how you look at it) they were both successful. Kakashi pulled his mask down and they ate in silence for a few moments before he stated,

"Apparently you had a shitty day. You look like hell." Which, of course, Kakashi was capable of seeing but not really caring about. His 'Ruru was adorable no matter what, at least in his sex-starved eyes. It was merely a statement of observation that comparing to _most _of the time, Iruka looked like hell. Which he did. The Chunin slammed his tea cup down on the table rather violently.

"I'm aware of that. I'm taking the day off." _Otherwise, I may strangle a somewhat innocent child_, was left unsaid.

"Ah."

"You obviously had a bad day yesterday too. I don't often find you passed out in my bushes."

"I try to keep the occurrence down to once or twice a month."

"The bad day? Or sleeping in my bushes?"

Kakashi just gave him a pointed stare, then went back to finishing his food.

"So," the Jounin started after a few more moments of silence (disturbed silence on Iruka's part), "seeing as we've both had shitty days and you have the current day off, I figure there are a few things we could be doing in the foreseeable future that would brighten our moods."

"Would any of these few things have something to do with southern areas of your anatomy?" Iruka asked carefully.

"Most of them," Kakashi admitted with a shrug. Iruka let out an exasperated groan and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shove it, Kakashi."

"That would be the general idea, yes," the Jounin replied, a lecherous grin lighting his exposed face.

Iruka's eyes snapped up to glare across the table. With a screech, he pushed his chair back and stood up, stomping over to where Kakashi was sitting. The grin had dropped off the copy-nin's face and he had barely had enough time to think, _Oh shit, I'm gonna die_, when Iruka was lunging at him.

The feel of Iruka shoving his tongue into Kakashi's mouth was enough to make him realize he wasn't dead yet, and his would-be murderer was currently straddling his lap and grinding their hips together. With a moan, Kakashi grabbed Iruka's ass, stood up, and carried him into the bedroom, kicking it shut with the reverberating sound that only bedroom doors can make when there's about to be loud, passionate sex executed behind them.

Five hours and several calls from the neighbors to keep the noise down (which were ignored) later, Kakashi sighed contentedly and snuggled his head into Iruka's chest, nearly purring at the feel of graceful, tan fingers raking through his hair. Iruka tangled their legs together further and smiled at the ceiling, letting out his own heart-felt sigh.

"'Ruru…" Kakashi started, reaching up and digging his own fingers into Iruka's hair.

"Mm?" The smile got a little bigger at the use of his pet name.

"Since your living room is a pond, and the only problem I have is a broken window which we should be able to get fixed by the end of the day, why don't you come stay with me for a while?"

Iruka answered the only way anyone could after five hours of mind-blowing, bone-melting sex.

"'Kay."

Kakashi hugged Iruka a little closer and buried his head in the Chunin's chest to hide his lascivious smile. _Poor guy won't know what hit him, _he mused.

He figured it'd be pretty easy to get Iruka to stay for good.

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Wow... This has certainly been the most random thing I've ever written. (Okay, besides the Gooseberry Bush Chronicles) I'm kinda glad it's over, but kinda sad too... Comments? Should I continue? Or maybe try my hand at a longer KakaIru fic? Let me know! XD 


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